I made this!

YOU GUYS!!!  This is a wonderful update…

A few of my ideas came to life over the weekend!  I did it!

I have only had time to post one item, albeit, with only one photo — not even a good photo,  I POSTED A NEW ITEM!  You guys, this is a big deal for me… I’m a doer!  I’m trying harder than I’ve ever tried before, so I am feeling proud of myself.  Even if my ideas are crap (I don’t think they are… but who am I?)… they are MY ideas and I made them with my bare hands!  That alone, is a big deal.

If you get a chance… occasionally head on over an see my new items:  Surprisingly Upbeat 

Direct link to my newest creation:  Sailboat Brooch, Please.

I made this!  Original idea by Maria Shaw

I made this! Original idea by Maria Shaw

I’ll be back to post more of my items… I think I may try and do a “I made this” series.  So I will be back!

xo

1/2 way point. (plus a month, but who’s counting?)

So I’m a little over my half birthday… and well, the ambition (per usual) has died down.  I had such great intentions to make a list of 36 things to accomplish this year (since I’m :::shutter::: 36 this year).

I have always been lazy and over ambitious; two things that don’t mix well.  I am not a doer, I want to be, but I’m not naturally a doer.  I have the greatest ideas, but I don’t have the motivation to follow through with them.  Its a shame.  I know I’d be world famous crafter or designer or president or something… if only I could find my strength and motivation.  Seriously though, I have come up with some fantastic ideas.  Lately I have so many ideas, my head is going to explode.  I’ve started writing them down in order for that to not happen.  No one wants to see my head explode… 

All in all… I’m gosh darn depressed!  Some days I feel fantastic and I have all this hope for the future and I’m excited… then there are days like today, where I feel… low, hopeless, worrisome.

This all brings up a thought, many of them actually, but first:  How did I end up here?  Not that I’m in a bad place, nothing like that.  Not even close.  I’m in a great place.  I just never imagined this life for myself.  I always imagined somehow (without any effort on my part, of course) I’d be happily working for someone I enjoyed, married, kids, house, picket fence, the American Dream!  All of it without giving any effort, because I truly felt, it would all just land in my lap.  I never imagined I’d be sans any of those things.  Not that I’d trade my current situation (other than my job — I’m not happy with that at all and would trade it in)… my current situation is great, I’m grateful for all the things & people I have in my life.  Its a good life.  I just have never had/made a plan for myself.  I have always just gone day to day, flowing with the flow…

And now… here I am …36.  It’s not old, but lets be real… its not young either.  I should have at least some of my shit figured out.  This thought really gets to me a lot.  I’ve never been that person that cared about age until this year.  This is the first year I’ve been really upset about not accomplishing any dreams and not even knowing what my dreams are.  I know I have time to accomplish a lot… and I’m working on it, working on it harder than I ever have before.  Yet… nothing has come to fruition and I’m frustrated.  I know things take time, and I’m working on being patient with myself and others.  I’m also trying to not put an importance on the things that are out of my control.  Everything I need is on its way.  I genuinely believe that.  Though… for my sanity, I need progress.  I need to make progress, with the things that are in my control.

I’ve been putting A LOT of thought into going back to school, and even a few actions in place.  I don’t have a solid set in stone plan, just yet, but I have some basic steps in place.  First and foremost is finances.  I have to get my finances in order.  My rough/basic plan is as follows:

\\FINANCES:
–Save $$
–Sell more on Etsy
–Work with financial aid
–Get part time job

\\ETSY:
–Create more items for the store
–PROMOTE
–Blog more (part of the promotion)
–Make business cards

\\SCHOOL:
–Register – DONE
–Financial Aid – In process (waiting for my award letter)
–Talk to counseling office (what classes do I take?!)
–Sign up!

That’s the basic/rough plan so far.   I know there are so so so many details I need to iron out before anything happens… but I’m on a good path.  And I need to stay focused.  If I don’t, I may lose my mind.  I need to move forward with my life… I’ve been standing still for far too long.  Its beginning to feel like my feet are in concrete and I can’t move.  I’m desperate to get moving…

Wish me luck; good, preferably.

How I feel, stuck.

This is a drawing of how I feel; stuck in a bucket of cement, while wearing a seriously adorable dress. (I’m an incredible artist, I know.)

Week One.

100 Happy Days!

I haven’t been doing very well posting my happiness photos on the good ole Instagram, but I have been good at remembering to take them!  I think about it every day… what makes me happy today?  On days like yesterday & today, I struggle… but I have figured it out each day; and for that moment… I am happy.  Just need to make the happy stick.  Maybe in time…

Well, here is my first week of #100happydays!

(On Instagram, I posted a video on day two, so my happy day pictures below are a little different.)

 

Free movies with the Handsome Man.  #daythree #100happydays

Free movies with the Handsome Man. #dayone #100happydays

 

Finding roosters in the city.  #daytwo #100happydays

Finding roosters in the city. #daytwo #100happydays

friendly neighborhood squirrels. #daytwo #100happydays

friendly neighborhood squirrels. #daythree #100happydays

 

Duck families in the fountain at our complex.  #daythree #100happydays

Duck families in the fountain at our complex. #dayfour #100happydays

 

Pandora pushing me to keep going when I wanted to quit.  #dayfive #100happydays

Pandora pushing me to keep going when I wanted to quit. #dayfive #100happydays

 

Fun findings while running.  #daysix #100happydays

Fun findings while running. #daysix #100happydays

 

 

Everything in this photo.  Cross stitching, cute dog perking up, cuddles... love it.  #dayseven #100happydays

Everything in this photo. Cross stitching, cute dog perking up, cuddles… love it. #dayseven #100happydays

Thats my first week!  I’m having fun, but its also pretty challenging.  I can see why people have quit.  Its not that I don’t have time for happiness, its more my day to day is pretty boring and my days end up blurring together, so its hard to find something “happy” about it.  I’m trying though.  There is for sure a theme with what makes me happy…. critters, maybe?  🙂  Love me some cute critters!

Anyway, I’ll keep plugging away at being happy… and most importantly, grateful.  I am grateful for all of these experiences.  I am a very lucky lady.

xo

Day one.

Yesterday was my first day of #100happydays… And I’m happy to report… I’m still on the wagon; still part of the 29%!  🙂

I took my photo last night and decided that I will be posting a day late. It’s not about taking time out of my happy moment to post it, right? I need to stay in the moment more often. This exercise is for me, not for the internet.  But posting it does keep me honest!

So far today, I’m struggling… I’m having a hard time feeling grateful. I keep trying and then I lose it. I just feel very frustrated today and a little down. Things haven’t been going my way recently and today I’m letting it get to me. I just need to keep feeling grateful and look forward.  And projects.  I need more projects.

Maybe a short list of things that I’m grateful for:

  • My mom
  • My dad
  • My kitty
  • The captain
  • My sewing machine
  • My health
  • Crafts & new ideas

And…

  • Squirrels

Feeling better already.  😉

Anyhow… Here is day one!  We went to see Dumb and Dumber, To last night as a free movie preview.  It was dumb, gross, but overall very hilarious.  It was a fun night; it made me happy for sure.

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#100happydays #dayone

#100HappyDays

Can I?  We are about to find out...

Can I? We are about to find out…

So I’ve seen a few people here and there hash tagging “#100HappyDays” with a photo of something that makes them happy.  This morning I woke up feeling a little stuck and frustrated (again) and these unhappy thoughts got me thinking.

I need more happiness in my life.  I need to choose happiness.  

I feel like I haven’t been fulfilling my own happiness very much lately.  I feel like I’m busy taking care of all the unfun stuff (chores, errands, grown up stuff, etc) and doing things to satisfy others happiness.  I have forgotten to speak up for my own happiness.

I am hoping that this exercise will help me focus on my happiness and in return make the other people around me happy.  Happiness is pretty infectious, ya know?

Here’s hoping I can keep it up!  The website says 71% of  people fail… not good odds.  ha!

If you’d like to join me, check it out and sign up!  HERE:  http://100happydays.com/

This is what first has me thinking about it:  http://www.hlntv.com/article/2014/03/05/100-happy-days-photo-challenge

I officially start tomorrow (March 26, 2014) and if I decide to stop at 100 days (hopefully I’ll keep it up!) will be July 4th, 2014.  What a perfect ending date.  I love fireworks!  I will be sharing my “happiness photos” via Instagram (username: @marialynnshaw), but I will also post them here to update myself.  This will be hard at first, but I think once I get going, it will just be a wonderful routine.  At least, I hope.

I’d really like to be part of the 29%… so wish me luck.  😉

xo

 

HBD, Grandma!

I want to wish the best Grandma in the whole universe the happiest of happy birthdays.  I hope you’re enjoying your time up in Heaven … if Heaven (does Heaven have a beach?) has a beach, I know you’ll be there with Grandpa, your family & friends enjoying a gimlet or two.  😉  You are always thought of and constantly missed.  Thank you for everything you’ve every done & thank you for raising an equally wonderful woman, my Mom.  Without you, there would be no her and without her, there wouldn’t be the awesome duo, my parents.  For that, I thank you the most.  I truly do know how lucky I am.  Forever grateful.  Love you eternally.  xoxo

Self intervention.

20140109-152921.jpg

I have a serious problem. Recently more than ever! I can’t get enough Goldfish crackers! Parmesan flavor, please. Ugh. The quantities I’m eating these days is really out of control. So I’m here to say….

Hi. My name is Maria and I’m an addict.

First step to recovery… Admitting you have a problem. Well… I have a problem. #firstworldproblem

I have to get out of this cycle! I feel like a prisoner! The photo you see here is literally the last bag of this evil snack I will consume. I have no self control! They are like crack!

I thought maybe if I put this out here into the World Wide Web, I have to stick with it. I will be held accountable now.

So here I am, saying good bye my old friend. I’ll miss you. *tear*

xoxo

20140109-154849.jpg

 

**UPDATE**
I went a week.  Ugh.  I caved and bought a bag yesterday.  It’ll be my last…. hopefully.  I am going to get serious about it March 5th (First day of Lent)!